Guy Crush: Vampires of Hollywood!
Just in time for Halloween, I get to spout off about one of my true loves...
VAMPIRES!
There's just too many, and its hard to choose just one--those lusty, brooding, sad-infinitely tortured souls, they certainly do get this girl in a tizzy.
So on this Halloween, I present you with a countdown of my 5 fave vampire guy crushes...straight outta Hollywood:
#5: Colin Farell in "Fright Night"
-this movie just came out over the summer (so you can netflix it sooner or later)...and Mr. Farell plays a handyman nextdoor neighbor...Um HOT!
But wait a minute; he needs blood to survive!
(Blood, sweat, dirt, guys in wife beaters...yeah look at that!)
#4: The dudes from "The Lost Boys"
-Really, do I even need to explain why I'm so attracted to this group?
Their clothing and looks alone are enough to drive my 80s lovin' self mad.
And a young Keifer Sutherland straight outta '87 is kinda easy on the eyes
#3: R. Patz as Edward Cullen in "Twilight"
-C'mon, even hardass girls like Joan Threat has a jr. high, 14yr old, crush from time to time.
Robert Pattinson is sooooooooo that guy!
He whispers a lot and says sweet-nothings to that one chick, Bella (or ironically enough didn't she portray Joan Jett in a certain movie a lil' while back? Um, do I not try to portray Ms. Jett on a daily basis? Oh the similarities).
Yeah, R. Patz has got my heart going "pitter patter".
-laugh it up ladies, I'm not ashamed that me and every 7th grade female out there has a thing for him.
#2: Gary Oldman in "Bram Stoker's Dracula"
-It's hard to find a way not to be attracted to this vampire's old world charms.
Quite the dapper gent in his younger form, although I cannot say the same about some of the other appearances he takes on thru the course of the movie...but the young Dracula? YES PLEASE
-and btw, this is one of my favorite books and movies of all time...so Gary Oldham and a great storyline, you can't go wrong!
But there's only one Hollywood vampire hottie that has my heart 100%...its not hard to figure out if you've known me since I was 13. When I was 13 I fell hard and fast for the cowboy hitchhiker in "Thelma and Louise"...so it goes without saying, I'm going to fall twice as hard for the same man when he's wearing vampire shoes.
My #1 Hollywood Vampire guy Crush is none other than:
(insert drumroll)
Brad Pitt as LOUIS in "Interview w/the Vampire"
Those piercing green eyes, his hot babyface pale and vein-y...wayyyyyyyyy HOTTER than his blood is cold!
His fangs, his love for his child vampire Claudia, his interview he gives to Christian Slater...the whole movie had me riveted and to this day is still one of my favorites...so it is just that much better when Brad Pitt comes on the screen and I get to fix my gaze on his portrayal of Louis.
Ohhhhhhhhhhh goodness golly, he's got the blood in my veins boiling...and as a vampire, he might not be able to resist that.
Unfortunately, someone should remind me, he's only fiction.
(but guy crush worthy fiction, no?)
So happy halloween readers!
Hope you have your own little monster crush of some sort...
For me...it'll always be the bloodthirsty vampires!
xx Joan Threat xx
xx Joan Threat xx
